Little Bow Girl

Wife, Mama to Sophie Rose, Full Time Day Dreamer

Yup, playing catch up is the story of my life right now – I’m already thinking four steps ahead all the time, pre-empting situations, trying to squeeze in as much as possible into as few minutes as possible.

I do recognize that I cannot do everything, and juggle everything, by myself, which is why The Little Bow Company is taking a month-long hiatus before we re-start again which much more stock to sell – demand completely outstripped supply during our soft launch and I was stressing myself out beyond belief trying to handle pre-orders and pushing our suppliers to be faster.

Fortunately or unfortunately, almost everything we sell is home made with love by Mama entrepreneurs and takes time and love – I would never compromise on the quality of the items we sell so if it means having to take a temporary break to bring all of you the best, then that’s what we are going to do. 🙂

Earlier this week, I was in Club Med Cherating for a company off-site – a much needed three days where I spent lots of quality time with my colleagues, a few of whom have become firm friends I trust with my tears, honest feelings and can completely lean on. I’ve been neglecting my friendships a lot recently and this time was perfect to re-establish those ties / really, really get up to speed on what’s been going on in their lives.

 My family used to go to Club Med a lot when we were kids – some of our best vacations were spent there. With five siblings, you never really run out of things to do! We’d frolic in the pool, and then the sea, canoe in the ocean, shoot at the archery range, play badminton, table tennis, soccer or go on the trapeze – and then stuff ourselves with usually-banned junk food in between.

Those were charmed days indeed 🙂

Physically, Cherating Club Med has not changed at all, which means its become a little bit shabby and run down now. 😦

But we still had a whale of a time – my co-workers are an amazingly fun and enthusiastic bunch, even if they do tease me to death about my intense fear of UV rays, aversion to dirty sports and permanent low calorie diet >.<

 

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 My OOTD snapped by Jea !

The three days were intense, to say the least.

So it was great, on the last day, to have a few hours to chill in and by the pool, just soaking in the last, weak ochre-red rays of the sunset and nursing a pina colada (or two. or three)

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All through this, I was missing my darling little munchkin like CRAZY. Crazy is an understatement – every time I saw little kids or babies at Club Med, I would feel a physical ache in my chest to put my arms around Sophie and kiss her soft, smooth little cheeks.

I obsessively re-watched videos of Sophie at the dinner table before being chided and told to enjoy my own me-time, and every time I did something fun I couldn’t help but wish K and Sophie were also there to enjoy it with me !

We’re definitely coming back with her when she’s a little older !

And then finally, six hours and a horrendous plane delay later, I was back on home-soil and my Sophie-doll was in my embrace. 🙂

Here she is, sleeping off her two injections after a visit to the PD the next day:

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I’d wondered if she would miss me or even remember me, and I really needn’t have, because the first night I was back, she clung on to my hand with all her strength and refused to let go even when I tried to leave. And then today, she refused to be held by anyone except me as she suffered through a particularly bad bout of teething pain -wipes away tears-

 

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Most people have no idea how important bonding with Sophie is to me. I constantly beat myself up about not being with her enough, not being loving enough, or nurturing enough. I’d read about other Mamas being able to bond early on because they breastfed longer, and I felt so guilty initially when I couldn’t form this bond with Sophie. I wondered why we didn’t have an immediate connection the day she was born.

The truth is, for a lot of Mamas, the bonding doesn’t come instantly. I experienced a huge disconnect between the baby Peanut in my womb whom I loved to distraction and the actual Sophie Rose who came out. I mourned the “loss” of that baby and perceived Sophie as another baby altogether. At the time, I also suffered from post natal blues which made me extremely down and emotional but now, I know that the bond is something that needs time to be built.

And I try to do it every day. When there are dishes waiting to be washed, laundry waiting to be hung, beds needed to be made, I leave them alone and use the precious time instead to just cuddle Sophie, tell her I love her, and make her used to the sound of my voice.

I hope it’s working !

Someone who bonded instantly with Sophie is my sister, D, who – after one false start (I put it down to travel fatigue) – has started constantly yearning to have her bubba (Sophie) in her arms. 🙂

Here’s S during our day out at Pasar Bella – already sitting up on her own in a high chair ! Doesn’t she look like a pro?

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And a photo of us girls just after Sophie’s first swim, sans-makeup but oh, so very happy !

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Got to laugh at Sophie’s super unglamorous kiao-ka pose !

She really enjoyed a girly afternoon (sorry, T!) having tea, coffee and Bonheur Patisserie Macarons – giggling and posing winsomely from her perch -_-

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I really hope to update this space soon with my enormous backlog of photos ! Going to have a little more time to blog this month but only after I’m back from a short trip to Seoul with the sister.

I’m really, really grateful to K for allowing me to go on this trip and so bravely offering to handle Sophie on his own. Well not entirely on his own, but suffice to say, the idea of not having Mama around must be a seriously daunting one for most first time, inexperienced Papas. >.<

I know he can do it !

He also so very thoughtfully showered me with gifts, knowing that I’ve been going through a particularly difficult time and haven’t had any opportunity to really pamper myself or do the things I’d like to.

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Matching Tod’s driving shoes in pale, dusty blue and a bow to boot, as well as a new selfie-camera to replace my old one which broke down! This lavender-pink color is sold out every where and I was so overwhelmed to find out that he specially hunted it down for me and even tucked it under my pillow as a surprise ^^ for me to use during the Seoul trip and also after for more Little Bow Family selfies.

I apologise if my recent posts have been a little prosaic and lacking in inspiration, I’m seriously sleep deprived and my day job is basically writing and reporting so I am completely drained by the time I get back home and turn on my personal laptop.

My Mama’s coming home this weekend, we have a little wedding to attend, and soon I’ll be off on a plane again (gosh, compared to my old 8-9 trips a year, this year I’ve only managed three!) and fingers crossed I won’t have a I-Miss-Sophie meltdown !

Have a wonderful weekend guys 🙂

Love,

Libby, Sophie Rose and K

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